My next and hopefully my last heart monitor will be placed inside my chest on Friday, February 16, 2018. It will stay in my chest for upward of two-three years depending on multiple factors that I don’t need to get into right now. When I say they are putting it “in my chest,” I mean it is going like right underneath my skin over my heart. It isn’t that serious of a procedure. But it is still somewhat scary and nerve wracking. I will be conscious and have a local anesthetic. I can even drive myself home after the procedure--that’s how not serious it is.
I heard about this heart monitor aka loop recorder about two years ago. My cardiologist mentioned it as a possible option for me. Of course when I found out about it, I wanted this new technology inside of me immediately because I need answers. There are a few major differences between a loop recorder and the heart monitor I had to actually wear on my chest a few weeks ago. The loop recorder is very small--paper clip size--it lasts longer, it goes inside your body, and it is way better at detecting your heart rhythms and such. Whereas the heart monitor I wore for the third time, a few weeks ago, is larger, goes on the outside of your chest, and isn’t as reliable for detecting rhythms. Plus the heart monitor has to be taken off and irritates the skin on the chest A LOT. That was my least favorite part about that. I am still trying to get my skin on my chest to be smooth as it once was. The loop recorder has a battery that last over two years so I don’t have to worry about charging it or anything. Those are a few differences--not to mention the procedure that is obviously involved with the loop recorder. I think the only similarity between the two is that they are heart monitors. Yup, that’s about it. One is more invasive, last longer and does a better job at detecting errors of my heart. I am finally getting that one.
I found out last Friday, February 2, 2018, that I was going to receive this loop recorder--finally! I felt so pleased when my cardiologist agreed with my mother and my suggestion after complications and frustration of wearing the other “normal” heart monitor. So, of course, last Friday I felt some relief and also like my doctor actually cared about me. Which is a pretty great feeling. The weekend I barely thought of life outside of my apartment, sleep, Netflix and cleaning. Last weekend was my last two work-free days until February 24--so I thought I should enjoy them--along with getting something done.
By the time this Monday, February 5, 2018, came around I got a phone call from the hospital to schedule the procedure. I was excited to be able to put this on my calendar and let my mother know what it was. I also had to schedule a one week follow-up visit to get my incision checked to make sure my wound is healing well. Which I didn’t even think about prior to the phone call but I scheduled that as well. By the time the phone call had ended I felt relieved that it was “official,” meaning scheduled and on my calendar.
However, my next feeling was anxiety and urgency to talk to my mother. I was at work when all of this was going on--of course. I immediately called my mother to update her on everything. She asked if I wanted her to come with me and I was like “yes, please, if you can.” I need my mother sometimes. I knew that I would need her on the day of the procedure. I don’t know why--I just knew. Other than that I felt all the pressure and anxiety surrounding this simple procedure that I knew I didn’t want to go alone. Which is funny because when I found out last Friday that I was having it put in I knew I wanted to be alone. It is crazy how things like feelings can change so quickly.
I think it is odd that I have had so much anxiety over this simple outpatient procedure when I have literally had oral surgery twice with anesthesia and potent drugs. And of course I was anxious for those but I feel like this is worse somehow. My fear surrounding this is the possibility that I didn’t need this in the first place. I just want this loop recorder to explain why I have been feeling worse and have had this fluttering feeling in my chest. The feeling is actually worse than fluttering--it literally takes my breath away when it happens. It scares the hell out of me--so, yeah--I hope I get answers from this loop recorder. If I don’t then I will feel even more crazy than I already do.
There will be more updates to come on this particular health situation. I will probably post again after I get it implanted. Let me know if you have questions. Thanks for the love and support!
