Having Thanks all the Time.

Yes it is, Thanksgiving day! I hope everyone is enjoying it, sometimes it can be hard to enjoy a holiday. We miss loved ones, don't get along with others, and it is hard to forget our worries and put that beautiful smile on our face. But we make ourselves go; talk story, tell them that everything is fine, and eat the big meal. This is usually what happened when I was younger but families grow closer as we grow older. Each individual member of the family grows a little bit closer in the year that goes by. We grow closer because we go through heartache, health crisis, break-ups, fights, birthdays, ect. It gets better, it gets easier to open up. We will always be honest, at least we think we will be. But we try and that is all that matters. I am very thankful for my family. They have been very supportive through my diagnosis and massive change in my life. My friends too! I have made new friends in college and they have also been supportive and accepting of me and my weird qualities. My friends that I have had for what seems like forever have been here for me through thick and thin. I love them all so much. And I can't forget to mention my high school teachers and my college professors. They have also helped me out and have had patience and understanding with everything that has been going on with me. I can't imagine not having them to talk to when I am feeling overwhelmed and stressed with school and non-school things. I would also like to thank everyone else in my life that have been there for me through all of my crazy problems. Lastly, I would like to mention that I am thankful for all of the medical devices that have helped me and everyone get diagnosed to live a longer and fuller life.

Being Diverse

Having any kind of illness makes you diverse from healthy people. When people think and talk about diverse issues they usually leave disability and illness out of the picture. They focus on race, ethnics, class, and gender. I know 'they' is a broad term; by using 'they' I am referring to the majority of people. When I think of diversity and how it effects people; I think of everything that makes us unique. I only started acknowledging that having disability or illness is also a category of being diverse. Some categories are more relevant in the media and have greater obstacles to overcome in the world but they are all equally categories under diversity. I have only identified myself as a white woman, never an ill white woman, at least up until this summer. Whenever someone assumes I am healthy or want to hang out with me and have any ind of relationship with me, I will tell them I am a sick girl. I have to 'warn them' about what they are getting themselves into. It is only fair. I would want to know if someone was ill. I wouldn't reject them, obviously, I mean I started a Chronic Illness organization on my college campus last month. I never even thought of having a disability or illness as a diverse issue until this year. I have been hearing more and more diverse issues around the world. I am posting this because it is important for people to know that there is a forgotten minority out there and it is people with disabilities and chronic illness.

'Human' by: Christina Perri

This is one of my favorite songs that I totally relate to with my chronic illness and just being human. Go ahead and watch it is very empowering. 

Learning to Adapt

I was in the ER again a few days ago; on Sunday (11/1). I had another bad flare-up. I was very dehydrated which caused ten hours of tachycardia, dizziness, puking, body tremors..ect. I want to be honest. Saturday was Halloween and I was hanging out with my friends and I had a few alcoholic beverages. The only thing I regret from that night was not drinking enough water in between drinks. I am usually good at doing that but I was having so much fun that I had totally forgotten to take care of myself. It has been hard for me not to be able to do certain things that my friends do. I know you probably will not understand were I am coming from. I am not saying I like drinking all of the time. I just like doing it every once and awhile. I want to make one thing straight; I do not tell people that I was in the ER to get pity, sympathy, or attention. I don't want to get attention because I have an illness, that is the last thing I want. I tell people so they hear it from me and not someone else and so they know what is going on. With the people I did tell that I got dehydrated because I was drinking and didn't take good care of myself; I know they are disappointed in me, not happy with me,  and hope that I think it was worth it. That is fine. I know they still love me. I am not disappointed in myself at first I was a little ashamed but not anymore. I had a great friend that talked it through with me. She said, that I am still adapting and that I am still figuring out my new normal. She said, "what is happening to you is a huge change and doesn't make any sense. You have to give yourself a break and time. Just do your best." So yeah, I took those words with great meaning. Because I was being really hard on myself. I am only human. I make mistakes. Everybody needs to understand that I have only been diagnosed with this chronic illness for almost 7 months now; I don't have even close to everything figured out. I learned this week that everyday will be a day of me adapting differently to my illness and that is something I have to live with for the rest of my life because I have no choice. Last week I was binge watching (Netflix) season 2 of 'Chasing Life,' it is about a young women who was has been diagnosed with Leukemia and the show does a good job of showing how a chronic illness can change your life and the relationships you have. The main character who has Leukemia, April Carver says, "Everything changes and all you can do is adapt."