Current Health Scare

This morning was like any other morning at work. I was just minding my own business. Then I saw that I had a missed phone call and a voicemail. If there was no voicemail, I wouldn't have called back. I listened to the voicemail which said, "this is the nurse from your cardiologist office, I'm calling you about your last transmission and some things that he wanted to discuss with you...he wants to see you within the next week about this...I will send you a message over MyChart..."

So, I checked MyChart...she said, "I left you a voicemail about your transmission last week. Dr. Adkisson reviewed it and would like you to have some blood work done. A basic metabolic panel to check your electrolytes, he would like to see you soon. Also, until he sees you if you have any syncope--or passing out--you should come to the ED. Let me know if there is a good time to discuss."

Isn't that a great message to receive on a Monday morning?

I immediately messaged her back, telling her that I was available to come in today. I needed to know what was going on right away. My anxiety was sky-high. I needed to talk to my doctor. I couldn't wait. After I messaged my nurse, I called my mom and told her what was up. 

To explain the transmission thing...for those of you who do not know, I have a paper-clip size heart monitor in my chest. It has been there since Feb. 2018. It is supposed to automatically record a transmission to my doctor's technician nurses if my heart rate goes above 160 bpm. I can also record transmissions with a button transmitter that I keep on my keychain.

Last week, on my way home from work I felt the weirdest feeling in my chest. It was fluttery, pounding, movement...I don't know if I would describe it has painful. It did take my breath away and made me temporarily dizzy. I was driving on my way back from work and I thought I was going to crash my car. It was terrifying. As soon as I started to contemplate if I should pull-over--this small episode had passed. After it had passed I had to catch my breath. Then I grabbed the tech nurses number and called them to talk to them about it after I recorded it on my transmitter.

Ever since that episode a little over a week ago, I have been feeling episodes like that more frequently than before. I had started feeling them a little over a year ago, but none of them were as powerful as that one I had last week. 

Last night and this morning I was beginning to think that the episode was just in my mind or that it wasn't anything serious. I was wrong.

I got the appointment scheduled for today at 1pm but they wanted me to come early so I could get my blood drawn. I got my blood drawn. My doc wanted to check my electrolytes and my blood work was normal.

When I finally met with my brilliant cardiologist he told me that he wasn't just concerned about the transmission I sent him but that there were more within the last two weeks where my monitor automatically recorded and transmitted to my tech nurses--that he was concerned about.

This is how I understand it...There was one that showed 10 extra beats in the upper part of my heart and my heart rate got over 170 bpm. There was another one where I had 13 extra beats in the upper part of my heart and my heart rate got over 200 bpm. The one that scared me was where I had three extra beats in the bottom part of my heart which my doc said was rare.

MORE TESTING...yay! 

I am scheduled to have a cardiac MRI done on Nov. 12. I will keep you posted. 

My anxiety is still super high with not knowing any definitive answers yet.

My Cane...

In previous posts, I have talked about the decline of my legs and the possibility of getting a cane to help me walk or just stand while I'm in public. I have also explained how this cane would hopefully be temporary and that I would have to only use it as needed.

At the end of August, I ordered a fold-able sparkling turquoise cane from Amazon. I got it before Labor Day weekend because I knew it was going to be a loooong and exhausting weekend. Fortunately, I didn't have to use it over the long holiday weekend.

The days following the long weekend, I did have a few bad leg days in a row. My legs were uber weak, shaky and somewhat numb. So, when I had my ENT appointment, a couple weeks ago, I decided to use my cane because I knew it would help. And I knew that I needed to try it out in front of a bunch of strangers before I could be around family, friends or on my college campus (where I am likely to run into someone I know).

The first time I used it was to my appointment and back. And let me tell you--it is so much fun to be stared at and given looks because I am a young woman with a cane. But I don't know what else I should expect. I actually felt pretty comfortable with it. And canes are easier to use when you actually NEED it, even if I am walking like ten times slower.

The same day, I used my cane for an on-campus event at Hamline. I attended with a friend, who is also disabled, and let me tell the abled-people reading this blog--it is so nice to have friends that understand your ailments. They don't give you funny looks. Also, it was surprising when I had people opening doors and holding the elevator for me. It was surprisingly comfortable--especially when I know I would do the same thing and have done the same thing.

Since then I have just been using it as needed. Which isn't often. But I am also super stubborn as well.

Using a cane feels like something I should have started doing while I was attending Hamline but I was just too scared about what people would say. And now my only concern is when I would have to use it around family or just around people I grew up with. Those people are always the ones that judge the most. But if people ask because they don't know--I will tell them that it is none of their business or I will tell them that my legs are fucking weak. Because they are and that is the bulk of why I need to use a cane. I just dread having to explain myself to people constantly. It is such a waste of time. That is why I write. So, I don't have to keep re-explaining myself to people. Maybe, I can just tell people to read my blog and then they will know why I live the way I do.

I would like to take this moment to thank my friends with disabilities for being there for me. I really appreciate our friendship and our conversations.

What do you think?