A week from today, on November 26, I am having surgery to figure out what the hell is going on with my body. I have been navigating a new health issue for a while which has been emotionally and physically exhausting. My GI symptoms had gotten worse at the beginning of 2025, and I have always had issues with my periods. Then in late spring 2025, I had the worst period I have ever had--the period from hell.
That period brought me extreme GI distress, bowel pain, nausea, and severe cramps in my lower abdomen and lower back that went into my hips and down my legs. I was incredibly weak and dizzy, this period put me into a full POTS flare up as most of them do but not to this severity. Even though I was feeling completely horrible, I forced myself to go to my graduate school classes in person for a few hours. I spent most of my first class in the bathroom on the toilet feeling like my bowels were on fire and wrapped in barbed wire.
During the last hour of class, we broke into small groups and a classmate/friend of mine performed Reiki on me which was very helpful. I did not go to my second class; I went home and slept the rest of the day. What is scary about days like this, is that I am feeling so sick that I am scared to drive and have to wait for my symptoms to improve before I can hit the road. I felt trapped, and it sucked.
Since at least spring 2025, I had noticed uncomfortably constant bloating and experienced right side and lower abdomen pain that was not with my period. That pain would be dull and achy or would bring me to the floor in agony--no in between. I was getting worried something else was going on especially with how many medications (including a steroid) I am on, I thought my medications were starting to impair my kidney function. I was wrong. I'm NOT the doctor as Alanis Morrisette sings.
At the beginning of summer, I saw my primary doctor, and she was able to refer me to an OBGYN who I saw in July about severe period pain and other symptoms I was experiencing. She recommended I get an ultrasound to see if something was going on. I scheduled it and when the day came, I had a bit of a PTSD anxious reaction. Being a survivor of sexual traumas, I wasn't feeling physically, mentally, or emotionally ready for a transvaginal ultrasound. I hate how my past traumas and shame still show up in my life sometimes.
At the end of August, I received a therapeutic massage from a friend/classmate with many years of experience with somatic and body healing work. At the beginning of my session, she asked me if she could do some craniosacral therapy, which I have never done before and wasn't quite sure how it works--still not entirely sure. From my understanding, it's almost like she did a body scan or connected with what she called my "inner physician." I laid on my back, and she used her hands to cradle my head. She said that what she was about to say was going to sound weird--I am usually always up for weird. She explained that my internal physician was trying to communicate with me and I wasn't listening. She encouraged me to listen to it and that an organ(s) were speaking to me. She told me that a lower organ(s) like my kidney, liver, or ovaries have been trying to get my attention. I reminded her about the horrible period I had during one of our spring classes since she was the one practicing Reiki on me. I told her what I just explained above, and she encouraged me to listen to my body and to my inner physician. She encouraged me to reschedule the ultrasound.
I got my first ultrasound the first Friday after seeing her not just because she encouraged me but because the side pain I had been experiencing on and off all spring and summer came back and was exponentially worse and consistent.
In September, I had my very first transvaginal ultrasound which was very triggering for my body. I intentionally took the rest of the day off knowing it probably would be and glad I did. It was so uncomfortable, triggering and my nervous system was so confused and a bit in crisis. I took an epsom salt bath as soon as I got home. Afterwards, I tried to get some busy work done as a distraction until it was interrupted by getting the results from MyChart.
The ultrasound had shown two ovarian cysts on each of my ovaries with one being nearly 5cm. With repeat ultrasound recommended 6-8 weeks later. I had such mixed feelings. I was happy to know right away a piece of this puzzle and that my experiences were validated by those results. In the past, I have not been believed, and it took me years of advocating for myself to get my POTS diagnosis. It felt very overwhelming and a form of relief. Also, I did not want to start my final year of graduate school trying to navigate a new health issue.
I won't get into the details of the shitty communication from the nurses and doctors the following week because it is upsetting. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt due to them being overworked and working within a shitty oppressive system.
I scheduled my follow up ultrasound and anxiously awaited its arrival and did a ton of research on ovarian cysts, what causes them, and other reproductive health issues. I learned a lot, and I tried not to worry about a cyst bursting or twisting my ovaries. I tried to focus on paying more attention and attuned with my body. The uncomfy constant bloating continued as well as other symptoms of right side and lower abdomen pain, intense GI distress (basically diarrhea all the time, more nausea), issues with urinating, sciatica pain radiating down my leg, even more of a lack of appetite, fatigue, etc.
With coping and planning ahead, the second ultrasound went much better for me physically and emotionally. It helped that I knew what to expect and had the same lady do the ultrasound as before. My body was not as triggered, and my nervous system wasn't activated. This time I had to wait a few days before seeing my results which showed one cyst gone and the other over 4 times as big as before. I saw my OBGYN 5 days after the ultrasound to discuss options.
We decided to do laparoscopy surgery to see if I have endometriosis and scar tissue which would need to be removed, and to drain/remove any cysts I have. Ultrasounds do not show everything, and surgery will give my doctor access to other organs to do some investigating. I will be shocked and feel a bit defeated or hopeless if I don't have something going on other than ovarian cysts. And if I do have endometriosis, it will be another chronic health diagnosis and illness I will learn to live with and manage. I just want to know what the fuck is going on with my body. Answers help us find solutions to help us manage and function better.
My mom will take me to and from surgery and will be my support for about five or so days, I am feeling incredibly grateful for her. I will be taking at least two weeks off from work and hopefully return to work by mid-December strictly working from home having virtual meetings.
My recovery time depends on what they find and how much they have to cut out of me. The more they have to cut out, the longer recovery time. It can be anywhere between 4-12 weeks. It is wild and difficult to navigate and prepare for that.
Throughout November, I have been working my ass off to catch up and stay on top of work and internship tasks, as well as everyday life things. My schoolwork is the only thing that I have been putting off and has been the least of my priorities, and I am hoping to get as caught up with that as I can in the next week. My work supervisors, internship supervisor, professors, friends, some family, have all been incredible supportive which has helped me feel confident in myself for preparing for this surgery and the possible long recovery afterwards. I hope to have friends and some family check in with me and visit me during the first weeks of December to help keep me distracted, looking forward to things, and help take care of me.
I was really hoping I didn't have to deal with all this right now, especially during the busiest part of this graduate program--and I know I will be ok with my supports and resiliency skills.
Thank you for being here, supporting me, and I will keep y'all posted.
