Disaster. Is one of life's unexpected jokes that it plays on you and not only everyone you love but everyone around you. It also comes in many forms, lengths and times. I have always had a list of personal disasters I have suffered or that have affected me some way. It is a scary long list. I try not to think about it too much. But here are a few things that are on my list; my illness, the bus accident, the death of my grandfather and some that are more national ones that have affected me are all of the rape and mass shootings going on in the United States. It is awful. It makes me question my future in this life. I have been trying to work through all of these things that have wrecked me and have made me grow as a person, they keep coming up and it is hard to deal with.
It is hard to put into words, but I was listening to the podcast "On Being" with Krista Tippet and she was interviewing someone that has also dealt with disaster. Her name is Rebecca Solnit and she said, "There is a way a disaster throw people into the present and sort of, gives them this super-saturated immediacy. That also includes a sense of connection, it is though in some violent gift you've been given a kind of spiritual awakening where you're close to mortality in a way that makes you feel more alive. You're deeply in the present and can let go of past and future and personal narrative in some ways. You have shared an experience with everyone around you and you often find very direct but also metaphysical connection to the people you suddenly have something in common with."
And she asks. "How do you stay awake during that sense of presence?" I have had some conversations about this with many people. I have also been thinking about it since I took the class Poetry and the Sacred. And to write poetry, you need to find what is sacred to you. You need to have sense of self and need to have a sense of sacred. You need to open up and become present. We made lists about what distracts us from the sacred and what helps us get there. Both lists where very long.
One of the most important things that I had learned in that class was that sacred is and has a different definition to every individual. It doesn't have to be religious or spiritual. And like disaster, sacredness comes in many forms, lengths and times. It is a wonderful thing though. So, to be more positive I will list some of mine; family and friends of course, nature, trees, technology, and education. They are just a few things that are sacred in my life. It is important to thrive in the things we love and find sacred. It gives us hope and a will to keep on living.
I honestly don't know what I would do without my friends and family and I am sure that you feel the same way.
Appreciating things is a little easier to do than to be present. Being present is a lot harder. You have to appreciate things in the present moment that you are feeling and experiencing. You have to be open minded and try to be positive. I also think it is a part of becoming inspired. And inspiration is pretty amazing. The ways that we are inspired and moved by people and events that happen in our lifetime. It is what puts me in awe. It compels me to write and share. It helps me move on and cope.
This isn't supposed to be a sappy story or something I am telling someone how to live or experience things. I am all about writing how I feel, what I have learned, and to be honest. So, I hope that it comes off like that.
