Disability Parking Permit Club

Yes, as of August 6, 2018, I have joined the Disabled Parking Permit Club. This shouldn't change the way I view myself and the way my disability has overall affected me as an individual but it tooootally has.

No one should feel shamed for having to park closer to any building, company, store or Barnes & Noble just because of your disability--but you do feel that way. Not because you are ashamed but because society makes you feel like you should be ashamed. And this shame is a lot worse when you don't look sick and are a young ill person. I usually don't look sick. I am always sick. I am always disabled. I am always feeling some sort of symptom.

On Monday, when I received the permit in the mail, it felt all too surreal. Then I actually used it because my legs were shaky and weak and I had to go to Target to pick up a few groceries. And I told myself that if I couldn't find a somewhat close parking spot that I would have to use it. I went there at about 6:30 p.m., so of course I couldn't find a parking spit that was close enough for my weak ass legs. So, I parked in the handicapped one by the entrance. It felt so odd. It felt like everyone was staring and judging and pointing--but I actually only got a few looks. Maybe...

On my way out of Target, I noticed how there isn't a very close place to put my cart and I really had a terrible time walking. I had to lean on the cart for support--like a walker or something. I ended up leaving the cart right in front of my car on the sidewalk that separates the parking spaces. Which a lot of people do, and I think it is because the cart drop off isn't very accessible.  Part from human laziness--some people, like me on my bad days, aren't going to walk across the the parking lot to the cart drop off. The entire time I was there it felt like my legs were going to give out.

Despite the looks I felt like I was getting--I am glad that I have this parking permit because I know it will help me on my bad days. Even if I am going to be in MN for another month and a half. I can use it when I visit. and I know I will need one when I move to MI. Hopefully, that one won't take as long to get. This one took over a month--stupid sloths at the DMV...