Biggest fear

When I have a bad dream/nightmare, it isn't the typical kind of nightmare. It isn't about zombies or spiders or demons. Well, sometimes demons. But my point is my nightmares consist of me ending up in a wheelchair or with a walker. This because I know that about 25% of POTS patients end up in that position. I hear and read so many horror stories about other POTies expericenes. I am terrified that I am going to end up like that. I know I would be fine and will be fine. I know I would be able to handle it, like I have been able to "handle" every other thing. But it still scares the crap out of me. Especially, when I have a bad day/flare-up. Like today, when my whole body, mostly my legs feel weak. It is crazy scary. Not only do I have a fear of it but I have actual nightmares of me in a wheelchair. It is aweful. I wake up sobbing. I don't know how else to describe it. It is realistic things like that, that freak me out the most. I think about it all the time, especially on my bad days.