Update: Cardiologist Appt. 12/18

You would think that I would get used to and comfortable with going to appointments. I actually freak out before every appointment, I don't know why but they terrify me. I think it has something to do with being asked questions about my symptoms and how often they happen and which ones happen. These doctors don't understand how hard it is for me to answer these questions about my daily life with my symptoms and my POTS. There is no routine with them, they are always so random. It is hard to explain to someone what you have to go through and deal with everyday. Especially because it is becoming a part of my life now. They always ask if it is getting better and it never is. Sure, I have another medication that is working on controlling my symptoms for those three hours that it lasts. Then I take another pill if needed. But I still will get flare-ups out of the blue, even when I am feeling really good. And these pills only control my heart rate and blood pressure and those are not my only symptoms. Today's appointment went great, I guess. I don't really know how I feel about it...yet. But my cardiologist is going to put me on a heart monitor again except this time it is for two weeks. He is doing this because I have been having these weird unusually flare-ups and palpitations that are not like more "normal" ones that I get. It is unusually because I am sitting down and get really lightheaded, and have a weird feeling in my chest. I have a sinus tachycardia arrhythmia when my heart rate is up which is "normal" but it is just fast (tachycardia). So he wants to see if these out of the normal flare-ups are my sinus tachycardia arrhythmia or if it is something else. My appointment to get my monthly blood work and to get my heart monitor is the first week in January. He told me to enjoy my break and that I should be wearing it when my life is back to "normal" routine. I think one of the best things that came out of this appointment was the fact that he told me that I didn't really go through a deconditioning phase. He told me that I adapted really well to this "new lifestyle." or whatever else you would call it. I am glad he said that because it gives me some reassurance that I am doing something right. I always want to be doing something right. It is the human thing to want but we usually tend to fuck things up, since we are humans. There is a brief update about what is currently going on with me. I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year if I don't see you!!